A china teapot and cup with “magic water” part of our special birthday ritual at Growing Minds
Toddlers have little control of their world. Often we see anxious toddlers trying to make sense of their day. Routines give infants and toddlers a sense of stability. Routines help infants and toddlers feel safe and secure in their environment. When you predict what is about to happen next, when you can anticipate the activity, it demystifies it.
We do this at home with our bedtime routines – maybe a bath, put on special clothes, a bottle, a book and a cuddle – all in preparation for the big sleep. The child knows the routine (ritual) and understands that this is sleep time. We have many of these activities during our life from celebrating birthdays to preparing for our workdays. These rituals often make us feel good and give us a sense of connection and belonging they also make us feel safe and comfortable. Predictable behaviour gives the same sense of security for your child.
A toddler’s world is a whirlwind. The developmental growth is off the chart, they are physically and cognitively changing everyday. They also are trying to make sense of their world – we often hear the analogy that an infant is like a sponge, constantly sucking in new material constantly observing and finding ways to make sense of their world. How can we make life easier ? With
Imagine what it’s like to be an infant. The world is all brand new — a fascinating, stimulating sensory delight — but the constant transitions, surprises and novelty can be intense and overwhelming. Combine that with the fact that we are growing, changing more rapidly than we ever will, so even what we know can feel different the next day. (Like the way my adolescent daughter feels when she wakes at noon and thinks the kitchen table and her mom have shrunk because she’s grown a half inch.)
We need responsive, reliable parents and caregivers to feel secure, but wouldn’t it also be nice to depend on some daily experiences? To be able to predict, for example, that after our morning meal and diaper change we’ll go to a familiar place to play. Or know that after our dinner and evening bath we will enjoy a book, close the shades, hear a lullaby we’ve begun to recognize and be gently placed in a cozy bed to sleep.
In a life full of changes we cannot control, creating routines and rituals is one of the most respectful and empowering things we can do for our babies.
Infant expert Magda Gerber emphasized the importance of establishing a daily sequence of events — not arbitrarily imposed, inflexible, or on the clock, but formed together with our babies in response to their individual needs. “In a predictable environment, and with regular, dependable schedules, they feel comfortable, cry less, and life is easier for both infant and parents. Infants who do not need to adjust to too much unnecessary stimulation will eventually regulate their sleeping and eating patterns. This regularity will, in turn, give parents some predictable time for their own needs and interests.”
Family rituals give you and your children a sense of security, identity and belonging. That's because they're special things that you do together and they have special meaning for you. They create shared memories, and build family relationships and bonds. Rituals can also comfort children in unfamiliar circumstances
Routines help children feel safe, develop life skills and build healthy habits. Routines help parents feel organised, reduce stress and find time for enjoyable activities. Good routines are well planned, regular and predictable.
Rituals, on the other hand, are a little different. Rituals make ordinary moments extraordinary.
You may have fond memories from your childhood of a parent massaging your back before bed. Your heart may feel full as you think back to those special things your whānau did for you on your birthday - breakfast in bed, or a lounge full of balloons.
With rituals, our children feel seen, heard and respected; it gives us the opportunity to really tune in to their needs and be present in the moment.
You can also invite children to participate in the preparation of your own special rituals; it’s an excellent way to nurture your collaborative relationship with them - helping to encourage feelings of importance, inclusion and achievement.
Why Routines Are Important for Infants and Toddlers
From morning routines to workout routines, our lives as adults are filled with everyday routines that help keep us on schedule. Children also need to have predictable routines that have room for flexibility, especially infants and toddlers. Here are three main reasons why routines for mealtime, nap time, playtime, bedtime, cuddle time, etc. are important for infants and toddlers:
1. Routines give infants and toddlers a sense of security and stability.
Routines help infants and toddlers feel safe and secure in their environment. Young children gain an understanding of everyday events and procedures and learn what is expected of them as routines make their environment more predictable. Routines can also help infants and toddlers become more trusting of you as a caretaker if their routines are effective and they feel comfortable in the environment.
2. Routines influence infants and toddlers' social, emotional, and cognitive development.
Infants and toddlers who have effective routines are often more engaged with their environment and the people around them. Young children learn to anticipate changes in routines, and they slowly become more independent as they learn what each routine entails. If routines are predictable, have appropriate transition cues, and have room for flexibility, routines will also help reduce challenging behaviors (tantrums, hitting, biting, etc.) in infants and toddlers and in older children.
3. Everyday routines can be used as teachable moments.
Everyday routines are full of learning opportunities for young children. For example, you can start teaching children the importance of washing their hands before eating or the importance of brushing their teeth. You can also use these everyday routines as opportunities to talk with young children and help them develop their communication skills.
With rituals, our children feel seen, heard and respected; it gives us the opportunity to really tune in to their needs and be present in the moment.
You can also invite children to participate in the preparation of your own special rituals; it’s an excellent way to nurture your collaborative relationship with them - helping to encourage feelings of importance, inclusion and achievement.
Rituals at Growing Minds
The magic of rituals take place regularly at our centres.
Participation and collaboration in these moments are an important part of children's learning experiences - enhancing their sense of identity and belonging. Te Whaāriki, the national early childhood curriculum of Aotearoa, recognises the importance of these things and guides us in our planning.
At Growing Minds we work together regularly to prepare centre-wide rituals for celebration, meal times and so on.
“Through rituals comes empowerment, belonging, excitement and connection.”
Growing Minds is a loving early learning environment with a team that will support your child’s rituals and requests. We involve them as an integral part of the decision making process in the rituals of their learning environment. Check out what we have been up to lately over at our Facebook page.